I just had one of those moments where you forget who you are for that one second..(not metaphorically speaking) Not quite sure how to describe this feeling.

I was in the middle of working through my million of things to do list while eating my gummi worms, chips, and coke to satisfy my “finals week cravings” (even though I’m not in finals week). I was just kind of day-dreaming, more like thought-jumping if you know what I mean, and all of the sudden…BAM. I found myself get that feeling that I’m “trapped” inside this physical body, and that I’m a LIVING HUMAN BEING of all things in this world and I’m in control of these fingers on the keyboard. There’s no escaping the life I am living, this is the life and body God has put me in. I am thankful for God’s grace to save me and to know that I am saved. Then I look up from staring at my blankets as I’m working in my cozy bed on my Macbook Pro. Look how big my queen sized bed is, how fortunate I am to be living comfortably in my room which is the size of brick and cement homes I have visited in China. I eat food I get to choose as a luxury, hot showers and internet are resources at my disposal.  I struggle with coming up with profoundly educational and student-engaging lesson plans (believe me I take hours where for others may take 30 or so minutes), but I am thankful that I know I like what I do. Every day is a blessing when you look at it this way. If I may live like this for 5-10 years with EXACTLY the same lifestyle, some may say that’s boring and need a new..THING (what have you) to break their cycle, but those are 5-10 years of blessing when you put life into perspective. This world is so big and intricate it always amazes me how I will never be able to understand even a surface level of it. Every soul needs to open their eyes and minds beyond the temporary and material.

I remember I had a moment like this before feeling like “Whoa, isn’t it just so weird that I’m in this body and this is who I am, and I didn’t really choose to be here or to live, or to be in this family, but I just am here.” That was in 5th grade when I was 10 years-old talking to my Fukinese best friend at the time, Benedict. I told him, “When I get those feelings, I really do think there has to be a God.” I remember believing at that age I had the feeling that I was truly created and chosen to be a human being/person, not just existed without cause or reason. I remember I thought, I wasn’t created as a lion prowling the African plains, or a pet dog for a family, but a boy of a Cantonese family to grow up in suburbia. Amazing to see where I am about 12 years later.

I should talk about Benedict in another time, he was a legit homeboy when we were in elementary school. I remember his family was Christian, at least I think so because he had one of those “Christ is the Head of this house” or “Blessings and Peace to all who enter this home” hanging at his doorway when you left.